Small penises have feelings too.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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