Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
