you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
