sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
