Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.

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(343): View more from Ontario

STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney

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(616): View more from Michigan

I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked

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(407): View more from Florida

Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.

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(671): View more from Guam

You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes

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