Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
its not stalking. its research.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
