Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize