We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
