This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
