But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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