it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
