Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
