One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
