Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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