I am puke
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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