fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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