Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
