all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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