Screwed.edu
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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