I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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