Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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