they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
