You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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