whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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