I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
