So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
