So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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