I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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