I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
