Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
