i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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