OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What drink are we having for lunch?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I pour the whiskey from now on
All the doctor said was why
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
