How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
