Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
