I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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