Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
