did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
