I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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