member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
