trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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