check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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