just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
