HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
