Having a random hookup so left but love u
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize
