Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.

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(416): View more from Ontario

I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her

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(503): View more from Oregon

I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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(314): View more from Missouri

I hate the hobo that sits outside our building

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Joe or Chris?

(314): View more from Missouri

do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit

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(302): View more from Delaware

yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay

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