Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
