I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
