Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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