Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
