If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How does one acquire holy water?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
