i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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