is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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