i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
