yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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