Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
