I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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